The Epitome of Dysfunction

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." ~Marilyn Monroe

I can be needy. Its the reason I call you 8 times in a row trying to get you to answer the phone.

I can be clingy and controlling. Its the reason I give dirty looks to the girls who saunter by you, and ask you what girl you're texting with.

But its only because I love you so much and I don't want to lose you. Whether you've given me a reason to worry or not, I will worry because its in my nature. I want you all to myself. I don't want to share you with anyone.

I can be emotional. Its the a reason I bitch at you, slam the door, and come back crying 5 minutes later. Maybe you think I'm bipolar. You swear to your friends that I'm definitely at least passive aggressive. But what you should know, is that I can't stand fighting with you, I get over things quickly, and then want everything to be all right again.

I can be neurotic. Its the reason I start inadvertently cleaning your apartment every time I come over. I'm not hinting that you're a slob when I do it. Its simply one of those things I do.

Running to another man when you hurt me bad enough doesn't make me a slut. It doesn't make me unfaithful either. It just means I got scared and panicked. You might say there's no excuse, but if you were a girl, you'd do it too. Just like your excuse for playing stupid or attacking me is what you do when I call you out and you have no defense.

Just because you've seen me broken doesn't mean I'm not still more powerful than you. I'm not domineering. I'm just better at my worst than you are at your best. I'm strong and the fact that my flaws are obvious to you doesn't deteriorate my strength at all.

But you have to put up with my clinginess, emotions, and neurosis to have me in the times when I'm wonderful. When I'm at my best, I call you before I leave work to see what you'd like for dinner. I remember to do all the things you love. I satiate all your manly needs: for sex, food, and video games. I look pretty when we go to hang out with your friends, so I make you look good. And I don't mind doing any of it. I love making you happy.

And when I'm a bitch, its not that my love is conditional. Its that when you're mistreating me you don't deserve those things. Its not even that I'm disinclined to do those things for you, or that I'm being selfish and lazy. When you're being childish, I treat you like a child. When you think I'm being immature, I'm actually functioning at a maturity level beyond what you can comprehend.

"Mutually Abusive" is a term I would use to describe a couple that looks like us. But really, its always more complicated than that. And if you ask me if I'm alright, it will just depend on my mood right then. I might tell you it doesn't bother me, because right then it doesn't. I might tell you I feel like dying, because right then its getting to me. Sometimes I don't want to tell you what's going on, because you're the person I always run to when something is wrong and right then YOU'RE the thing that's wrong. But usually, I wind up telling you anyway, because no one will understand what I mean like you will. And sometimes even you don't understand. But you always understand better than anyone else.

I guess we're just the epitome of dysfunction. In fact, there could probably be a cross-reference in the dictionary to us. But really, there's always more to the story than just a label someone could put on us.