Deja Vu and New Lessons

Seems to be that life is a cycle, that runs over and over again. The past few weeks feel like a huge deja vu. Moral of the past month is, I don't need to lose my faith in EVERYONE, only in the people who have proven they are unworthy of my trust. Its ok to distance myself from the people who have continuously disappointed me and the people who demonstrate their lack of integrity. It seems I have just as much of a hard time admitting others have faults as I do admitting my own. Now, how to confront the necessary people about all of it? ...to be blogged about at a later date.

On a separate but related in the context of admitting my faults note, its funny (yet again) how you can have issues you torture yourself over internally that you didn't even realize were completely out of whack! Things from my childhood have embedded themselves so deep in my psyche that I am still discovering new issues all the time.

For the past week I've been so exhausted after work I haven't had the energy to do anything around the house. Dishes in the sink taunted me, the growing pile of laundry screamed at me every time I walked by. All I could do was sit on the couch, spent, and list over and over again in my head all the things I should be getting done. I apologized profusely to Reid for the messiness and laziness. He was confused. "You always do all this stuff, its about time I do some work around here, too." I came to a new understanding of what a marriage ought to be.

"Wives, be submissive to your husbands" was branded into my brain. Do the housework and chores, cook and clean. It was easy to accept that that was my job, Reid being the primary breadwinner of our little family. That's the home environment I was raised in. But the entire verse in the bible is not just about a woman's place. There is quite a bit of responsibility placed on the man as well. Submissiveness, in the context of the verse, means to trust that God will give your husband the wisdom to make the best decisions for our family. That is his role. I have that confidence in Reid. His doing housework, to me, was an extra way to spoil me and show his love for me. But all the while, to Reid, he was just doing what he ought to be doing, not doing something to make me feel even more indebted to him.

This is the man I married. I learn from him every day. I am blessed.