Moment of Truth

Has life ever caught you with a moment of realization that changes you profoundly? A moment when you realize there is a plan, a purpose for why everything happens the way it does?

I was talking to my sister-in-law last night. We've been hanging out; its perfectly wonderful. I always wanted siblings, and now I have a big brother and sister and a little brother and sister, and a mom to hang out with.

Things weren't always great between all of us; I often felt as though my eccentric personality made my new family very stand-offish. Since Reid and I were married, however, I've felt the hesitance lifted away. At first I attributed the truce to simply getting over it out of necessity. But between a conversation over lunch with my mother-in-law and another with my sister-in-law last night, I've realized that its one more coincidental twist of fate held in my dad's passing.

It hadn't occurred to me until the words were out of her mouth: if Reid and I hadn't been married a mere 48 hours before my father died, he wouldn't have been able to fly to Oklahoma with me to handle the details of the funeral. I certainly would have been an emotional wreck without Reid there.

Between my family meeting and accepting Reid without scrutiny due to the larger circumstances at the time, Reid's ability to go with me to the funeral, and Reid's family's acceptance due to to aforementioned realization, it is incandescently clear that something greater than ourselves has been at work in the beginning of our life together.

Also, as mentioned in previous blog entries, my relationship with my father was considerably less than ideal. Our last conversation was nothing more than handing off the phone, and communication that he initiated was rare. I had reached a point of acceptance and forgiveness of my father, for my own emotional health, but now I feel strongly that the healing from years of fear and humiliation has reached completion. Though not intentionally, my dad gave me so much in death, being unable to give me the things I needed in life. Call it twisted, call it miraculous, call it fate.

But chance? I think not.