In or Out

The in's and out's of love…the twinkling of eyes at the boy you're crushing on, all too shortly followed by the pangs of loneliness deep in your gut as you watch him dance with another girl. Suddenly the secret hopes you allowed yourself (but never told anyone, because that would make you obsessive and crazy) are destroyed, and you are right back where you started. Except perhaps a little further behind than before, because you are a little more jaded and a little less trusting.

My girlfriends and I are seemingly trapped in a cycle of falling in and out of one level or another of romantic involvement with boys. No matter what level of commitment is entailed, I'm continuously baffled by the lack of tact and arrogant audacity they give off. It makes me shudder to imagine their perception of us.

It seems that we have two choices: we can either become hardened and distant in our interactions with others, as a result of being hurt, in order to avoid those difficult emotions, or we can take the blows as they come. If being hardened is a way to combat the difficulties of relationships, ultimately we would have to be emotionally disconnected from every single person around us. Being social people who live in communities of all sorts, this theory means we would be required to alienate ourselves completely. Then the only person we would have to interact with would be ourselves. And who wants to deal with THAT?

The only solution, therefore, is to learn to cope with the pain and heartbreak that inevitably comes with any relationship. It is important, too, to always bear in mind that we are fallible humans, and that we hurt others with our selfishness just as we are hurt by theirs. Therefore, never be so arrogant as to claim never to have hurt someone in the way that they are hurting you. But God, does it ever suck sometimes.

Let it never be said of me that I became jaded and heartless. "If its between love and losing, and to never have known the feeling, I'd still side with love. And if I end up lonely, at least I will be there knowing I believe in love." ~Colbie Caillat