Used to Be

I used to be the girl you could torture with your hateful words.

Now I'm the girl who becomes more fabulous the more you attack me.

I used to be the girl you could use for a doormat. The girl you could do whatever you wanted to.

Now I'm the girl who flies free, and never takes bullshit to heart.

Your animosity is the wind under my wings. So watch while I fly higher and higher over you.

I used to be the girl that looked in the mirror and shuddered.

Now I look in the mirror and ask my reflection, "Damn, who is that sexy goddess?"

I used to be the girl who internalized everything that went wrong, and underwent a mental and emotional beating for it.

Now, I own what I do wrong. And nothing else.

I used to be the girl who needed someone else's assurance for self-esteem.

Now I live a life defined by contentment coupled with a constant hunger for betterment.

I am not run by the opinions of others. I make a positive difference in the world. I challenge others to become great people because I am a great person. I am changing the world, by love one person at a time.

I used to be the girl who wanted to die.

But now I open my eyes in the morning, and I am happy to be alive.

Fuck Buddies?

Its official. I am anti fuck-buddy. No matter how the idea of fuck buddies is presented to me, I can't force myself consider the practice acceptable.

Essentially, the fuck buddy system is a system of having a relationship with no commitments and no communication. You are free to use another person at your whim. And they, in turn, are able to use you.

I mean who doesn't like to entertain the idea of hot sex with no attachments? The problem is, it rarely remains just that.

Either the random fucking will become a relationship at some point, or one will become more attached than the other, or one will have suppressed feelings for the other to being with in the hope that the sex will deepen their relationship.

This, of course, is paradoxical, since someone who only wants to use you does not truly care about you.

Its completely paradoxical to think that fucking will work if both parties are unattached and have no connection. Sex is enjoyable. But sex, by nature, is intimate. Its designed to make you attached to the person you're doin' it with.

If its purely a matter of needing to get off regularly, ladies, buy a dildo, gentlemen, buy some good porn. Or whatever it is that gets you off. That way, you get yours and no one gets used or hurt.